


The Pictures He Drew

by GlassAlice



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: 1x2, 1x2 end game, 1x2x1, 1xR non con, 2x1 - Freeform, Angst, F/M, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Song Fic Kinda, Sorry Not Sorry, a bit dark, after war, attempted suicide, boys just trying to figure shit out, bullied duo, i'm anti relena, language trigger warnings, relena is kind of the bad guy, so expect her to be treated badly, the pilots trying to live their lives, these boys are messed up, they need therapy, we're back from hiatus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2018-09-26 18:15:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9915050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassAlice/pseuds/GlassAlice
Summary: Hiatus is over! Last chapter will be up in two weeks. Re-write of a fic posted to 1x2 yahoo groups I wrote forever ago and lost. Only the bare bones of this fic have anything to do with the first one. Hopefully this one is a bit better. Originally posted under name Duos_hallelujah. Simple get together fic with Duo being an artist.





	1. Over and Over Again

Warning: Abuse, sex, mention of non-con sex, and bulling. 

AN: I don't own Gundam Wing, I'm just writing for fun. Does anyone even care about these boys anymore? 

\--------------------------------------------------------------- 

Heero slammed his hand down on the alarm clock. He opened bloodshot eyes to glare at angry red numbers; 6:00 AM glared back. 

Something shifted next to him and a flood of memories poured in. A party, an absurd amount of alcohol, and Relena. He shifted his glare at the brown head beside him. The dim light from the just rising sun lit up her pretty face just enough to see it was streaked with last night’s makeup and smeared from sex.

She was always his weakness, Heero lamented, which caused situations like this. She liked him. Loved him is more like it, Heero quickly corrected. There were not many things in life that Heero would deny Relena, but sex was one of them. Unless, like last night, he was too drunk to tell Relena from the next warm body. Too drunk to feel what his hands were touching. Too drunk to feel anything. 

Heero shifted out of bed as to not wake Relena. She reached out a hand searching for the warmth that had just left. Heero took his pillow and snuggled it into her arm. Relena immediately cuddled into the pillow with a soft sigh; her makeup leaving little black smudges on the white fabric. Heero let out a disgusted sigh, he felt used. Relena knew Heero was not romantically attracted to her but she always tried to push him anyways. As much as Heero respected her ideals and wanted to protect her innocence, he couldn’t help but notice this black spot on her personality. He quickly turned for the bathroom and locked the door. 

The shower was too hot. Heero did not wait for the temperature to adjust before stepping in. He needed to burn. He scrubbed at his body until it was pink and raw banishing all traces of intimate contact with Relena but unable to clean away his revulsion.

By the time he got out of the shower and had the determination to go back to his room, Relena had disappeared. His bed was made and a note lay on his nightstand. He ignored the note, he knew it was just a hollow apology, it always was when this happened. He quickly dressed for work. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Duo shoveled eggs into his mouth practically inhaling the breakfast Sister Mary made for them. Duo was living at the local catholic orphanage in exchange for helping to care for the children. The orphanage was close to his University and it came with free meals. He couldn’t ask for more. He didn’t even feel he deserved this, but Sister Mary was kind and the children were fun, so he stayed. 

Late. Duo grabbed one more piece of toast and yelled to the back of the room at Sister Mary, “Thanks Sister, I’ll be home late today. I should be back around 9.”

Sister Mary ran to the doorway that separated the quaint dining room from the kitchen and smiled at Duo, “Have a good day dear. I’ll leave some supper in the fridge for you.”

Duo grinned while he grabbed his ratty school bag, “That would be lovely Sister.” He gave a final wave before he ran for the front door and down to his bus stop. 

Duo both loved and hated riding the bus. He loved watching people and listing to their conversations and making up stories for where each person went every day. He hated how inconveniently slow they were, fortunately it only took 30min and one bus to get to school. He pulled out his sketch book and started to doodle while he waited for his stop.

Duo was majoring in mechanical engineering and most of his sketch book was full of different inventions he’d dreamt up but the rest of the book held sketches of people. Some of them were from his bus rides but most of them were of his past. Duo refused to think about which past most of the drawings included. 

Duo pulled the bell to signal his stop and hopped off the bus. He slid his sketch book back into his bag and started walking up the hill to his university.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Duo stepped out of his last class for the day and stretched, “A snack and then to the library,” he announced to no one in particular. He started off to the university’s cafeteria weaving in and out of rushing students and dodging groups huddled in the middle of walkways. His lithe body easily sidestepped and swerved elegantly though the crowd. “oomf” Duo was blindsided from his left. 

“Watch it tard.” the large brown haired boy that had shoved him spat. A boy with a shaved head shoved him from behind, “where are running to, huh?”

Soon he was surrounded by four members of Sigma Nu. The passing students turned to watch forgetting their next class, some started to pull out their cell phones and livestream. 

Duo rolled his eyes, “To lunch, why did you wanna make it a date?” Duo blinked his violet eyes at the guy with the shaved head. 

“Sick fag,” said a new voice, “you’re going to hell.” 

“Too late for that” sighed Duo whimsically. The first guy swung his fist, “Shut it faggot” Duo dodged his fist easily. One by one the group tried to hit and kick at Duo. He side stepped one of the bigger brutes causing him to topple into his friend instead. The four bullies got more frustrated as Duo toyed with them. The brown haired leader finally growled and reached for duo with pure hate on his face intending to grapple him into a full nelson. Duo quickly jumped out of the way to avoid capture but his backpack didn’t make it. Duo abandoned his bag in his escape but the struggle caused the already tattered bag to tear open. The contents of his backpack spilled to the floor; his sketch book landed face open revealing one of Duo’s more racy sketches. 

“What’s this?” the boy still clutching Duo’s backpack bent to retrieve the sketchbook, “Oh, nasty! The little faggot likes to draw porn!” he said has he flipped through the pages. 

Duo’s face reddened in anger, “Give it back” it was a warning. 

 

_Rip_

 

The boy holding Duo’s sketch book ripped the page from spine to corner, tearing right through the middle of the picture. He crumpled the half page and tossed it at Duo’s face. The crumpled ball bounced off his forehead and fell unceremoniously to his feet; Duo didn’t blink. 

“There you go, have some of it back.”

Duo saw red but instead of lashing out, he froze like a statue. He knew if he moved someone would die, and he couldn’t have blood on his hands again. There was already too much. So he didn’t dare even blink. He watched as the boys laughed and shredded his drawings. He watched as they landed blow after blow anywhere they could. He watched as they spat on him and high-fived each other. He watched as the phones clicked off and the crowd dispersed. 

He lay on the ground not hearing anything that was going on. A university patrol officer rolled up on a golf cart and escorted Duo to the office. Duo gave his official statement before he was released. He clutched his torn bag full of crumpled and shredded paper as he walked aimlessly off campus. 

Duo found himself in a park not quite sure how he got there and only with a faint idea of where exactly he was. He sat down on a bench facing the boring grey office building that sat across from the park but his eyes focused on nothing. He sat there for a while before a scream from behind him startled him out of his thoughts. Whipping around he found the source of the scream. A child had jumped from the swing set behind him and was now laughing and showing off to his friends. Duo sighed.

He turned back around and looked down at his scraped hands. He had no idea what he looked like but he couldn’t imagen it was very good. He sighed again and turned to his torn bag. He pulled out what was left of his sketch book. The cover was dirty and scratched and a few pages had shoe prints on them. Most of the pages were torn but a few pages in the back were still enacted if not a bit crinkled. Duo flattened one of the pages with his hand and dug around for a pencil in his bag. Finding one, he started to sketch the building in front of him. Straight lines with precise angles little windows with imaginary business men doing mundane tasks. Duo’s pencil strokes became heavier. Bold dark lines streaked though the white page. Duo’s grip on the pencil changed to a fist. He angrily tore the pencil up and down the page; graphite smeared and darkened under his abuse. A splash of red. 

Duo stopped in surprise and reached up to his nose and looked at his hand. Red. He looked down at his shirt. He was covered in blood. He had no idea how long his nose had been bleeding. He pinched it carefully checking to see if it had broken. To his relief it seemed his nose was intact, “besides the blood” he said to himself. He chuckled to himself; then his chuckles grew into laughter; then laughter grew manic.

His stomach hurt and parents pulled their children out of the park. “Some Gundam pilot I turned out to be” Duo sneered at himself. He wiped the back of his hand against his nose, when it came back clean Duo stood up and gathered his belongings. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Heero shut down his computer and put it in his briefcase. A rap at the door startled him but he didn’t jump. He called out to the door, “Come in”. 

The door opened and Relena slid into the room closing the door behind her she took a couple steps forward stopping in the middle of the room. Heero immediately crossed his arms and glared. She was the last person he wanted to see right now.  
Relena mustered a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes and put a hand over her heart in a small protective gesture. 

“Heero, I’d like to talk to you,” Relena closed her eyes briefly to gather courage, “about last night. I don’t want to do this anymore.” Something flashed in Heero’s eyes but Relena couldn’t read it. She pressed on, “No more games, we should just be together.”

Heero stood and picked up his briefcase. He started walking to the door staring at the point passed Relena’s head.  
“Heero, look at me.” 

“Look at me.” She tried again.

“Look at me Heero!” Her voice was too loud in the small office. Her voice rang in her ears punctuating the silence that followed. 

Heero was now standing next to her, their shoulders almost touching. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. “Who is it you want? Me or the idea of me?” His voice was low barely above a whisper. If she hadn’t been standing right next to him she would have missed it.

Relena visibly straightened and spun to face him, “You, of course! You’re everything I could ever want. I..” she paused, panic filled her stomach and her hands started to sweat. 

“Didn’t you read the note I left? I explained,” she cut herself off and switched tactics, “I love you Heero. I love you more than anyone else ever will!”

Heero looked down at his hand on the door handle, “I loved you.” Heero’s chest shuddered at his next breath, “No. I loved the idea of you, but people and ideas are not the same thing. Are they?” and without looking back he stepped out the door.

Relena stood in the middle of Heero’s office tears streaming down her face. Heero’s voice bouncing in her head and falling into her heart. It sank into her veins until she felt numb. She made fists in her hair and tugged hard trying to feel something physical, something other than the sinking depression creating a hole in her middle and expanding out. At last she dropped her hands, “What am I doing?” she whispered. 

No one answered.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Heero stepped out of the revolving doors to the Preventer’s building. He had to leave, he couldn’t look at her. If he had looked at her he would still be in that office trying to fix something that could never be repaired, but he would try to do it. He couldn’t say no to Relena but it would destroy him to say yes. He looked up at the sky, the sun was fading behind the tall business buildings and the moon was visible from where he stood. That’s when a figure across the street caught his eye. The long braid was immediately recognizable but something was off. Unconsciously his hand raised half way to call out. Shocked at his own actions Heero forced it down and shoved it in his pocket. He began to turn away when he noticed why the image of Duo across the street was so odd, he was covered in blood and bruises. 

Without thinking Heero sprinted across the street and ran up to Duo. He was about to touch Duo’s shoulder when Duo flipped around smacking Heero’s hand away and jumping backwards in one smooth motion. Heero stood stoically and waited for the other boy to calm down. 

Duo’s eyes slowly widened and his mouth formed a small o. “Heero.”

Heero, now feeling it was safe to approach duo, took a step forward, “I saw you from across the street” he stated as if it answered all the questions on Duo’s face.

“Across the street…” Duo trailed as he looked back at the grey building he was sketching earlier. “That’s the preventer’s office” he realized out loud.

Heero gave a slight nod. “What happened to you?”

Duo snorted in a half laugh but his eyes were dull, “Just drawing, and now I’m leaving. Good night Heero.”

Heero said nothing but grabbed Duo’s wrist in an attempt to stop him. A slight shock ran though both of them at the contact. Heero closed his eyes at the pleasure from touching Duo’s soft skin. His wrist was smooth but firm, the silky skin hiding iron muscle. Heero enjoyed the feel of it. He rubbed his thumb against the soft dip where palm met arm.  
Duo came to his senses first and twisted his wrist out of Heero’s grasp. He tucked it back around his backpack protectively. “What do you want”, Duo narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “I haven’t done anything, the Preventers have no reason to come after me”

Heero face went back to stone. “I’m not here on Preventer business.”

“Then why are you here?”

Heero wasn’t sure of the answer himself. He had run after Duo on a whim. Something inside him had moved his feet and now he had nothing to say. 

“Hn.” He settled on a non-committal response.

Duo sighed and rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you get back to your princess huh?” he turned on his heel and ran ignoring the pain in his body and ghost touch on his wrist. 

Heero stood by himself watching the tussled mess of hair run from him again.


	2. Give in to the Ones That Haunt You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Non-con. A look into the past.

\--------------------------------------------------------------- 

2 years ago…

 

Duo sat on the safe house couch with a scrap of Heero’s printer paper drawing a set of almond eyes behind messy bangs. His mind concentrated on keeping his lines soft for easy erasure. He had picked up drawing in his spare time when the other pilots weren’t home. It was an activity he could keep busy with that didn’t need electricity. He had an endless supply of paper from Heero’s printer and pencils were cheap. It was the perfect time waster for between missions. His pictures had really started to improve from his first stick-figure-Heero being chased by stick-figure-Quetra and what Duo thought was a fairly good pterodactyl. Although Quetra said it looked like a popsicle stick with wings.

The door slammed open startling Duo. Wufei walked in with Heero hanging off his shoulder. Both were covered in blood. Duo hurried off the couch, scattering his drawings to the floor in his rush to make room for Heero. Wufei kicked the door closed and laid Heero on the couch. 

“He’s lost a lot of blood, get the kit” Duo was already moving before Wufei finished his sentence. 

“We made a mistake.” Wufei said as he started ripping Heero’s clothes away, “While we were escorting Relena a fringe group attacked us, thank you” Duo handed the first aid kit to Wufei. 

“I was able to break though and get Relena to the ship, but Heero decided to be the bait.” 

Duo rolled his eyes, “Of course he did.” He pulled out the disinfectant and started to clean up the smaller cuts. 

Wufei sighed shooting Duo a long-suffering glance, “He was the reason the mission was a success, our lives are not of consequence in this war, 02. Show respect.” 

Duo glared at Wufei but went back to disinfecting each wound as Wufei sewed stitches closing the deeper gashes. “I need to finish the mission, I’ve already informed J of 01’s status, I’ll be gone at least a month.” Wufei snipped the thread from the last set of stitches and turned to Duo. 

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper, “This is the new safe house. J will provide the necessary transportation at the coordinates below.” Duo nodded taking the paper and slipping it into his own pocket. Wufei nodded back and grabbed his bag off the floor and left without preamble.

Duo watched the door close behind Wufei and turned slowly back to the unconscious Heero. “I guess it’s just you and me buddy” Duo fetched some blankets and covered Heero before making himself a makeshift bed on the floor.

\--------------------------------------------------------------- 

Dirty sunlight filtered though the one window in the tiny safe house dappling gold spots on Duos face. Duo grunted cursing the sun for being too bright. ‘Dumb sun, dumb floor, dumb loud birds’ Duo paused in his curses as he thought, ‘wait floor?’ 

“Heero!” Duo gasped as he shot up from his scratchy makeshift bed. He looked at the couch but it was empty. Duo’s panic rose into his throat. “Heero, you still here buddy?” he called and listened.  
Heero limped into the room and glared at Duo, “Shut up” Duo sighed with relief. Heero was alright and more importantly, still here. 

“We got a new safe house, we need to get going as soon as you’re up and walking, and it looks like you are…for the most part” Duo eyed the largest gash that spanned Heero’s entire thigh disappearing into his spandex shorts. The cloth that covered the stitches was a faint pink. 

“Hn” was all Heero had to say. Duo sighed and went about erasing any trace that they had been there. Once his and Heero’s Duffle were packed and all evidence of them gone, he turned to Heero who sat with his leg up on the couch. 

“Ready to go?” Heero slammed his laptop shut glaring at Duo. 

“Sheesh, it wasn’t me who compromised this place so stop looking at me like that” 

Heero picked up his own duffle from the floor and slung it over his good shoulder, “Let’s go.”

Duo and Heero stepped outside and Duo lit a match, a little bit too gleefully, and threw it on a pile of dry brush next to the house. “Shinigami strikes again, mortgages beware!” Duo laughed to himself. Heero slapped him upside the head and grunted. Duo rubbed his head and pouted, “It’s just a joke Hee-chan” and then dodged Heero’s oncoming fist. 

They made their way to a nearby Oz facility where they hijacked a small car and drove it in the opposite direction they planned to go. Then they doubled back and took the transport set up for them by Doctor J. It took the majority of the day to reach the new safe house, by the time Heero and Duo made it to the front stoop the sun was already low on the horizon.

Duo opened the door and stepped inside. “More like a safe shack than a safe house, story of my life. Why can’t we stay in one of Q’s places? Tro always gets to!” Duo complained. 

Heero sneered at Duo’s monologue, “Can’t you be quiet for more than a minute?” 

Duo’s head whipped around his lips curling into a smirk. “It speaks!” Duo cheered and stepped up besides Heero slinging his arm around the other’s shoulders. He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered into Heero’s ear, “I thought you might have forgotten how to talk”

Heero froze as Duo’s warm breath puffed into his ear. Duo was normally touchy with all the pilots but Heero had never quite gotten used to it. His arm came up wrapping around Duo’s arm that was slung over his shoulders locking him in place. He twisted Duo’s arm behind the boy’s back and pushed him down to the floor. “Don’t touch me.” Heero warned. 

“Fuck man, get off me.” Duo twisted out of Heero’s iron grip and cradled his wrist. “It was just a joke.” 

Heero just glared. Duo’s wrist was red where he had grabbed him. 

“Whatever perfect solder.” It came out as a slur. Duo turned on his heel and walked off to find his own corner of the safe house as far from Heero as he could get.

\--------------------------------------------------------------- 

It was almost midnight when Heero closed his laptop. He let out a small sigh. J was disappointed in his last mission attempt and he made sure Heero understood all his failures. Heero pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes until he saw spots. He’d not only compromised their safe house but also almost got Relena killed. He slammed his fist down on his wounded leg, relishing in the pain. He deserved the pain. He deserved more than just this pain. He shook his head to dislodge that thought. His punishment was this war, he would die in this war and be baptized in his own blood, absolved of his sins. It was just a matter of time.

Heero stood up and got a water bottle from their rations. The sound of the plastic bottle crinkling under the pressure of his grip was deafening in the quiet safe house. Even the crickets were silent. Heero remembered in that moment that there was indeed another pilot here, and not just any of the pilots, but the loudest of the bunch. Worry started to creep up his spine causing him to stand a bit straighter and listen a bit harder. Nothing. Duo could be creepily quite when he wanted to be, he thought to himself. Heero started making his way through the small safe house, there were only two other rooms and a bathroom besides the main entrance. There wasn’t even a kitchen. Heero tried the bathroom first but found it empty except for a few spiders that had made their home in the dusty corners. The next door, he realized, did not lead to an actual room but more of a large closet. He ground his feet in front of the last door and pushed it open.

Duo’s large eyes were cold as they looked up at him. Heero took a sharp intake of breath freezing in the doorway. Duo’s auburn hair pooled around him in loose waves. He had built a nest in one corner of the small room out of their rough military issued blankets. His wrist was resting on an icepack and a hand shaped bruise was starting to bloom on the pale skin. Heero’s heart jerked. He was supposed to punish himself, not his ally. Not Duo. In one smooth movement Heero shut the door and strode over to Duo’s side. Duo watched him like a cornered cat. Heero knelt down at Duo’s side and looked at him questioning. Duo lowered his defenses in answer allowing Heero to gingerly lift his wrist to examine the bruising. 

“I’m sorry.” Heero didn’t know Duo’s eyes could get bigger, but apparently they could. 

“You’re what?” 

“I’m sorry, I overreacted and hurt you.” 

“You bet your ass you did.” Duo sneered. 

Heero shifted uncomfortably still holding Duo’s wrist lightly he was unsure what to do now that he was here. He didn’t have a mission plan or orders to follow and he was starting to panic. 

“S’okay ya know” a quiet whisper, “I’m used to it” his smile didn't reach his eyes.

Heero looked up, and for the first time truly saw pilot 02 as a person. He saw the lines the other's face, the flecks of blue in his eyes, the crooked tooth that only showed when he smiled lopsidedly. And to his surprise, he like it. He ran his thumb over the soft skin of Duo’s wrist soothing the hot and abused skin. 

“I’m not at war with you, you shouldn’t expect it from me” 

Duo let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, “I expect it from everyone, you’re not special.” 

Heero understood and nodded. Duo’s bangs brushed his forehead and he realized how close they were sitting. 

“I’m not special, but I won’t hurt you again. I promise.” Heero’s breath puffed across Duo’s face with every word. Their noses were almost touching. Their foreheads already were. Duo closed his eyes. 

“You can’t promise something like that, ‘Ro. It’s impossible.” Heero’s lips formed a slight smile that Duo could only feel. Going off instinct alone Heero leaned forward closing the millimeters between their lips. Heero kissed Duo like he was drinking water from a well. He had never felt like this in all his life, the surge of passion overtook all his senses. It was different than the rush of battle. This was softer and hotter all at the same time. He clung to Duo, and to his pleasure, Duo clung back. There was nothing else in the world except Duo and his lips and his hands. And then Duo pulled back, his face flushed and his lips wet. 

“This is wrong, you don’t want this.” 

Heero was too caught up in new feelings to understand what the other was saying, all he knew was that they had stopped and he didn’t want to stop. He grabbed for Duo again trying to pull them together. 

A firm hand pushed at his chest, “Ro you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re confused. Stop before you regret it” 

Heero looked into Duo’s eyes his gaze strong, “I want it. I want you.” 

Duo shivered, “What do you want Heero? A quick fuck? And then what? I can’t handle being your play thing, I’m not going to let you use me.” 

“I’m not using you.” 

“You will, when this is over. When you wake up and realize that you don’t like boys and that Relena is calling you, you’ll run to her side and leave me. Alone. Again.” 

Heero pulled Duo's bruised wrist and kissed it, he looked up into violet eyes. Eyes that begged him to stop. Duo was fast but Heero was stronger, he knew Duo couldn't stop him. A pink tongue flicked out and licked the burning flesh. 

Duo shuddered and closed his eyes shaking his head. 

"Heero it's different for me, I'm not like you."

"I don't understand." Heero reached out and placed his hand on the matching bulge under Duo's pants as if to prove his point. 

"Hah, ahh Heero." Duo's eyes shut tighter. 

"We're the same." Heero's hand encircled Duo's shaft though the black fabric. 

Heero positioned himself up on his knees in front of Duo so that he had the height advantage. He lifted both hands to cup Duo's face and leaned in, noses touching. 

"I want you." Heero closed the distance between them and devoured his mouth. Sucking, nibbling, licking, every inch of his mouth. Heero's tongue forced it's way past white teeth to ravage the inside the way he ravaged the outside. 

Heero pushed Duo down on the rough blankets beneath them. 

Duo became still eyes unblinking. He reached out to cup Duo’s face, his hand stroked the line of his jaw then ran up the side of his head to rest in a pool of hair, “Let me?" Duo did nothing.

He was no longer in the safe house with Heero. He was in an alley on L2, pinned down by a faceless man. He was so weak. He tried to fight tried to run away, but the man's grip was like iron. His pants were half off his hip and the man's hands where everywhere, big and rough and painful. Every dry thrust was accompanied by punches or slaps. Anywhere he could find. The more Duo struggled the more the abuse increased. So he held still and retreated into himself. Deeper and deeper until he was numb to was was happening.

Heero rubbed frantically against the other boy. He didn't know what he was doing all he knew was that it felt good and he was chasing that feeling full throttle. He was almost there, just a bit more. Greedily he ran his free hand though the auburn tresses that always distracted him so. The silk strands fell though his fingers like water, he lifted them to his nose and inhaled Duo. He came hard. He had never come like this before. His whole body shook with pleasure and his muscles failed him for the first time in his life. He fell on top of Duo exhausted.

Unsure of what to do and too tried to care, Heero fell asleep in the mess he made.


	3. End It All Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heero is a bit of an ass, Relena is a bitch, and Duo is best boy.

Duo dreamt of that night for the first time in a long time. He remembered the paralyzing fear that had rushed through him. The betrayal of his trust in his fellow pilot. "I was right" he scoffed at himself.

Heero had left him cold and alone after that. Had ran back to his princess just like he knew he would. It wasn't the last time that they had sex. Heero would use him during various missions and Duo always let him. 

Slinking out of his sheets, he pulled his sketchbook from the backpack resting next to his bed. He slowly slipped through the torn pages finally stopping on the one he was looking for. He stared intently at the rough sketch of Heero on that night. Broken and alone and regretful. Heero was bad for him, Duo told himself over and over. Heero had Relena. Heero had a job and fame and social status. Duo was just an orphan from L2 trying to make something of himself in Relena’s University.

Even his education was reliant on others, on that damn woman. 

Carefully, Duo tore the page out, a footprint smudging the graphite, and crumpled it into a ball. He was done with that part of his life. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Heero returned to his apartment and to the bottle. He was a fuck up. Some hero he’d turned out to be. This life wasn’t fair, the war wasn’t fair, using children wasn’t fair. And now he was the one who had to live with the consequences of the adults. 

Heero sipped at the whiskey and grabbed at a bottle of aspirin, downing two pills with the liquor. He wasn’t actually alone, there were other children this war destroyed, others exactly like him trying to navigate adulthood in this strange peaceful society. 

He should contact Duo.

Pulling out his phone he scanned through his contacts, Duo’s number might have changed by now, all of his contact information with the other pilots was from the end of the war and he’d never used any of them. 

Heero pressed the call button and lifted the phone to his ear, waiting. 

_Sorry the number you have dialed cannot be reached_ \-- Heero slammed his finger down on the end call button. 

He threw the phone on his bed and ran a hand through is hair, maybe he really was alone. Maybe, this was it. 

His phone lit up, incoming call ringing loudly. Heero jumped for his phone, nearly spilling his whiskey in the process. _Relena_. Of course. 

Heero hit the end call button for the second time that night. He should end this. Get this life over with. If he wasn’t going to protect the princess any longer what use was he? 

There was no point in a perfect solder with no war to fight. He slammed back the rest of his whiskey and set about to do the one thing he’d never accomplished.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Duo pinned back his hair in a complicated french braid. Today was a special day, one of the children was being adopted and the whole orphanage was having a party.

After checking himself in the small slit of a mirror in his tiny room, Duo ran down stairs to the yelling and screaming children below. Sister Mary greeted him with a kiss, “Good Morning, Duo. Do you think you can run next door for some baking powder? We used the last of it on cake and now they’re all screaming for cookies.” She smiled warmly, eyes twinkling. 

No one loved the children being adopted more than Sister Mary, not even the children. Tomorrow she would mourn their loss and cry on Duo’s shoulder as she gathers their things to be sent to their new address, but today was a day for smiles and, apparently, cookies. “Sure thing, Sister. I’ll be two seconds!”

 

Duo waved as he always did at the door, and skipped over to the neighbors, a homeless shelter owned by the same church. He slipped into the kitchens and slid up behind Hilde, poking her sides. She rounded on him, face red, “Duo Maxwell! Don’t you dare scare me like that!”

Duo laughed and shrugged, “We need some baking powder for adoption day, do you have any to spare?”

Hilde smiled, “Only if I get to come celebrate once I’m off!” 

“Sure thing Hil’” Duo bumped into her playfully.

“Okay, wait right here, let me go grab some.”

Duo nodded and leaned against the counter. A small TV rumbled low to his right. He looked over casually and gasped.

There on the screen was Heero’s face and the words “Hospitalized for suspected suicide.” Duo quickly turned up the sound, cold sweat breaking out over his skin.

“Heero Yuy, personal bodyguard of Relena Peacecraft, was found this morning by the Princess herself, unconscious and not responding. He was transported to Memorial Hospital at Eight, his condition…”

“Found it! It was way back in the back.” Hilde sing-songed over the TV.

Duo snapped out of his trance and ran, calling out behind him, “Sorry Hil’ gotta go, can you take that to Sister for me?”

\---------------------------------------------------------------

The scene Duo found was worse then he’d thought.

Wires and machines ran in a criss-cross over Heero’s body. Relena at his side, holding his hand lightly in a manicured grip. The machines beeped and whired, the only sound in the room. THe nurse had told him that Heero just had his stomach pumped but he was still unconscious. 

Duo entered the room, ignoring the princess at Heero’s side. “Heero, buddy?” Duo called out.

“You can’t be here.”

Duo glared up at Relena, then looked back down at Heero. “Heero, can you hear me?”

“He’s in a coma, Maxwell, he can’t hear you. And you have no right to be here.”

 

Duo shot a look across the hospittle bed, “And you do? You aren’t his wife or his family? What gives you the right and not me? Money?”

Relena had the decently to look slightly ashamed before her face hardened, “I’m closer to him then you’ll ever be. He chose me over you.”

Duo felt a pang in his chest, the truth hurt too much. He wanted to run, to leave, to forget, but he’d run enough in his life. Right now, a fellow Gundam pilot needed him. Gripping his hands in fits, he ignored Relena and sat down in a free chair. 

“I told you to leave.”

 

Duo ignored her again, eyes unmoving from Heero’s face.

“I’ll call security.”

“I’d like to see them try to remove the God of Death.” Duo said lowly, still not looking at Relena. 

The room turned three degrees colder and Relena shivered, biting down on her lip. The murderous intent of a Gundam pilot was hard to ignore. 

They sat in silence.

Quetra showed up a few hours later with Trowa in toe, Wufei was the last to arrive having to come all the way from L5. With each arrival Relena grew more and more uncomfortable. If Duo had to guess he’d say it was because she wanted Heero to wake up and see her and fall madly in love or some romantic comedy shit. But those plans were ruined by the four men currently slouched around the room. 

It was five days after Wufei’s arrival that Heero finally woke up. “Duo.” he said weakly.

The hate in Relena’s eyes was something the pilots didn’t miss. “Yeah buddy?” Duo asked.

“Your phone number doesn’t work.”

Duo chuckled, what the hell was Heero talking about? “I can get you my phone number later, how are you feeling?”

“Like that time I blew up Wing.”

Quetra sighed, “Which time?”  
The whole room laughed morbidly except Relena who seemed to seeth in her chair.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Heero was dispatched from the Hospital after a day, only because Duo said he would watch Heero at home. Relena put up a big stink but Heero would have no one else. 

They spent the first couple of days dancing around each other. Just a few words spoken here or there. It wasn’t until Heero caught Duo sketching on his balcony that the ice finally broke.

“What’s that?”

Duo didn’t look up from his sketch, “Mmm, just drawing.”

“You’ve gotten better.”

“I suppose so.”

“Can I watch you?”

“If you want.” Duo sighed, shifting so there was room on the bench.

They sat for hours as Duo drew, until the sun set and it was too hard to see. Finally Duo stretched, letting out a yawn.

“So why did you do it? Why did you try to kill yourself?” Duo asked, almost lightly as if asking what they’d have for dinner. 

Heero shook his head, “I couldn’t find your number.”

Duo laughed, “Don’t lie, I don’t like lies.”

Heero frowned, “The truth?”

“The truth.” Duo sat back, sliding his arm behind Heero on the bench.

“Relena was using me, I was tired of it. I wanted out.”

Duo nodded, leaving space for Heero to continue. He did after a moment, “But part of it is because of what I did to you. I get it now, I understand. I was using you the way Relena was using me.” Heero looked up at the stars, “I hurt you.”

Duo brought his arm slowly back into his lap and slouched forward, “Yeah, you did.”

“I’m sorry. I truly am sorry.”

“Heero.” Duo swallowed, careful with his words, “Did... Relena rape you?”

Heero nodded, still looking at the stars. 

Duo sat back, his chest heavy and tears in his eyes. There was a difference. The Heero that had raped him didn’t know better, like a robot learning feelings. What he’d done to Duo was wrong, very wrong. But Relena didn’t have the excuse of not understanding human emotions, of not understanding what her actions were. Relena knew what she was doing, how she was manipulating Heero. It was different. A grey line that Duo could see. 

“I forgive you, you know. I moved on.” Duo said in a quiet whisper.

“Did you?”

Duo didn’t answer, to answer would be a full lie instead of the half truth he’d just told. 

“I thought so.” Heero turned to him, blue eyes bright even in the light of the moon, “Kill me.”

Duo’s eyes turned hard, purple darkening to black, “What are you asking me to do, Heero.”

“You’re the God of Death. If anyone could kill me, you could. I can’t seem to do it. It’s practically a joke now.”

“You want me to live with your blood on my hands? Fresh blood on the mountains of bodies I’ve killed? You’d do that to me?” Duo’s voice was flat, lifeless.

“Yes.” Heero answered.

Duo shook his head, “I won’t.”

Heero closed his eyes, “I deserve it.”

Duo scooted closer, “You don’t deserve it. The only thing you deserve, we all deserve, is a real chance at living.”

Heero opened his eyes wide in surprise, Duo inches from his face. Neither of them said anything. The moon crept higher in the sky and both men went inside, locking the world out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will the be the last one!


End file.
